Cornmeal and Collard Greens

Today was one of those days where Mom was in a rush. Not to go to work, but to go to church: today is the feast of Saint John the Baptist, a feast celebrated throughout much of Northern Europe. And Haiti, apparently. Since she’s going.

Since I burn rice and Yveline is not always that creative, Mom made us dinner in a grand total of twenty minutes before rushing out the door in with a bustle of bags and a cloud of perfume. I think it’s a procession – she won’t be back for say, forever.

I have to go to one of those tomorrow night; it will be the feast of Our Lady of Perpetual Help. If I miss that one she might disown me. Anyway, here is the recipe pieced together from what I could observe as she ordered me to chop garlic and hand her the chicken:

Legumes:

A large Can of Seasoned Collard Greens
Spaghetti Sauce (Mom uses this as a substitute for tomato paste, which she despises)
Boiled Chicken Breasts
2 Cloves  of Garlic
Several Leeks
Vegetable Oil
Butter

Add a small amount of vegetable oil to a large frying pan. Chop the garlic and the leeks very finely, and add to the pan to brown. Add the entire can of collard greens, a tablespoon of butter, and half a cup of the spaghetti sauce. Chop the boiled chicken breasts into small chunks and add to the pan. Mix and allow to simmer for around ten minutes.

Cornmeal:

Coarse Cornmeal
Water
Butter

For cornmeal, it’s around 3 or 4 cups of water to 1 cup of cornmeal. Add enough water to a large pot and bring to a boil on medium heat. Stir in the cornmeal and 1 large tablespoon of butter. Continue to stir until the water level decreases and the cornmeal changes to a stickier consistency, this takes around ten minutes. Cover and allow to simmer, stirring frequently, for another five or so minutes. Serve immediately.

Cornmeal is my comfort food. How’s that for unusual?

OhMyBama

I am speechless.
Except not really, because I am here and writing and this and my mind is running at a mile a minute -
Okay. Slow down, and breathe.
We just elected the first black President of the United States – correction, the first Multicultural President of the United States.

This is my first time voting in a presidential election. I voted in the primary, but the energy was nothing like this.
When I woke up this morning, I couldn’t bring myself to muster much enthusiasm for anything. The sky was gray and it threatened to rain. I had a class at 8:30 to get to and a million other obligations that had been weighing on my mind all week. Everyone I passed encouraged me to vote and to think about my polling place, while all I could do was nod and think about how comfortable my bed would be.
When I got on the shuttle to go to my polling place, the sky opened up. The rain that had been threatening to pour all day forewent any further intimidation and poured down with a vengeance. I remember thinking, thank god I don’t have to walk back in that and, I wonder if the lines will be long? I was still only vaguely aware and barely awake, unlike everyone else in the shuttle. They were strung taught, nervous bundles of trembling energy, while I leaned my chin on my chest and dozed.
I started to wake up on the line. It was then that I began to notice the other people around me, to notice the anxiety, or hope, or anticipation in their faces.
I was in a state of mental panic by the time I stepped into the voting booth. I stared and stared at the panel, my mind running in circles as my hand hovered over the boxes. Was I really about to do this? When had I turned eighteen and missed it? What would happen afterward?
It took a lot to finally just push the damn button.
I spent the day in a haze, trying to get excited but failing, growing ever more anxious as time passed and I couldn’t get near a television or a computer. If I think about it, the election really came alive for me at the Black Cultural Center. That’s where it all came together, where all of us cried and cheered and whooped together, only to run screaming into the night with joy as if we couldn’t contain what we were feeling. And we couldn’t. We gathered on Parrish Beach to sing and shout some more, and drew in passing crowds to cheer with us – Barack Obama is president.
Hours later and I still don’t know what to say. Except, maybe: thank you.

Orthognathic Surgery, the After: Day 13 and 2 Recipes

It’s Day 13! This past Monday I got my rubber bands put on and my jaw is now tightly shut and in its proper position. We’re not talking wimpy rubber bands, though. I couldn’t open my mouth if I tried. The surgeon says I can probably exchange for less taut bands this coming Monday if I continue to progress nicely. I am still swollen, but now only in my chin, cheeks and lower lip. The transformation is amazing, I can’t recognize myself in the mirror! At this rate, my mother thinks I’m going to need new glasses frames, because my current ones don’t go with my face at all. Which I find hilarious; I distinctly remember picking these particular frames out because they balanced out the angles of my narrow chin.

While there is little physical pain at this stage (if you don’t count the constant nerve tingling in my numb areas), there is still a significant amount of emotional pain. I’m not talking depression, I’m talking food pain. As in, I spend all of my time watching the Food Network and wondering if Tyler’s Ultimate Pork Chops would still be Ultimate if I pureed them in a blender. You see, now that my jaw is banded shut it’s actually easier to eat. That may sound ridiculous; how do you eat if you can’t pry your own teeth apart? But now it’s harder to gag and choke on things. I’m still using my syringe, and it took a while to figure out how to get liquid past my teeth and to my throat, but once you get the hang of it (stick the attachment on the syringe in the corner of your mouth, push, suck) it’s pretty okay. I just have to stay away from liquids with noticeable particles. Seeing as I’m still not allowed to brush yet, that would be extremely counterproductive and rather unhygienic.

In terms of food, I don’t have to drink straight broth and juice, like I did the first week. I can get a little more creative – at least, my mom can get a little more creative. She’s been a big help and makes most of the food

Anyhow, there are two particular recipes that I’ve been abusing for the past few days because they are easy to make, easy to eat, they give you a truckload of energy, and they taste good. They are both breakfast drinks, though they are serviceable as lunch or supper, if you prefer.

Akasan Breakfast Shake

Akasan is a Haitian dish made of fine corn flour that’s been cooked, mixed with milk, and seasoned to taste. It is usually eaten or drunk (depending on the preferred consistency) for breakfast. My mother adapted the traditional recipe to something that could be blenderized and easily sucked out of a syringe. It’s one of my favorite breakfast recipes, and thus it was greatly missed for the period that I wasn’t allowed dairy. This recipe is not exact because it’s been passed down in the family. Cooking it is a very subjective experience, you have to really eye things to know when they’re ready. Try not to burn anything and it’ll turn out fine.

You’ll need:

1 package of Akasan flour (you can find this at any Caribbean grocery store worth it’s salt. If not, then a package of very finely milled corn flour will do. And I mean fine, it should look almost like powdered sugar.), Milk, Sugar, Cinnamon or Star Anise.

Fill a small pot about a third of the way with water, bring to a boil. If preferred, add a stick of cinnamon or a star anise to the water for flavor. Pour the package of flour into the water while stirring slowly; stirring is very important to prevent lumping. Reduce to low heat and allow to cook, stirring occasionally. You’ll know it is ready when it reaches a porridge-like consistency, usually in around three to five minutes – eye-ball it.

Once cooked, turn off the heat. Grab some milk and pour it into the pot while stirring in order to dissolve the corn meal into the milk as much as possible. Stir hard and really get those lumps dissolved into the milk. I usually put around four to five cups of milk in mine. Add sugar to taste.

Remove any cinnamon or star anise and pour into the blender. Puree or Liquefy until smooth. Add milk as needed to reduce thickness. Suck up with syringe and enjoy!

Mango Power Shake

I call this a “power shake” because it’s ridiculously good for you (do you know how much Vitamin C is in a mango?) especially if you use V8 V-Fusion instead of regular old juice.

You’ll need:

1 large mango (”large” being the size of your open palm. If not, then use two.), milk, sugar, vanilla extract, V8 V-Fusion Juice in Strawberry Banana (or just plain strawberries, but I wouldn’t recommend it because of the seeds)

Skin your mango(es); cut all of the flesh off of the seed and place in the blender. Discard the seed (or plant it, like I did). Run the blender briefly on chop to reduce the mango to a mush. Add 2 tablespoons of sugar and half a teaspoon of vanilla extract, and 2 cups of juice [if using fresh strawberries, then as many as you want, but you'll also need to add 1 to 2 cups of water]. Here comes the subjective part: add as much milk as seems right to you. I usually add around five, six cups of milk. But that’s just me.

Puree or Liquefy. Suck up with syringe and enjoy!

There are lots of other recipes, especially dinner ones, out there to cure your food pain during recovery. One of my favorite sites is Jaw Dropping Blends, which houses a ton of different recipes which offer hope to what would otherwise be a chicken broth filled future.

Orthognathic Surgery: the After, Day 6

It’s been six days since the surgery, and I’m recovering well. My face is still swollen, but it has decreased considerably – I no longer look like I have a cantaloupe for a head. I look more like a chipmunk. The immense amount of pressure spreading from my cheeks, chin to lower ears that has plagued me for the past few days has also gone down. Now it’s more like an insistent pulsing. The biggest improvement, though, is finally being able to clean out my nose! They didn’t allow me to touch my nose so soon after the surgery and I’m still not allowed to sneeze/blow my nose, but I can finally use a Q-tip and, well, you know. Here’s to breathing!

I have however, developed a small complication that would be meaningless if it weren’t so annoying. I have a small throat infection that makes it feel as if I’m swallowing a golf ball, one made of sandpaper. Seeing as I’m on a liquid diet and swallowing is my main means of well, being alive, needless to say I’m cranky. No one can figure out what to give me for it, so all I can do is drink lots and lots of hot things and pray it goes away rather than getting worse.

Having this surgery has made me realize how much I miss my lips. It’s a silly thought, but come on. Now that they just sit there, useless and numb, I remember all those wonderful things I used to use them for. Like smiling, and sucking on a straw (hence the current syringe-feeding method), and forming consonants like ‘p’ and ‘b’. I miss ‘p’ and ‘b’, they were very satisfying, meaty sounds. Nowadays everything I manage to say has a wimpy ‘th’ in it.

The tentative date for getting my rubber bands on is this coming Monday. Thank God my mouth isn’t getting wired shut instead! The rubber bands do the job of the wiring without being, well, so permanent. I get to take them off if I need to do something important, like breathe because my nose is clogged. People with their mouths wired shut have to carry around wire cutters for those sort of emergencies. Wire cutters!

Anyway, the rubber bands will do the final job of guiding my jaw into its proper place, and keeping it there. Just because I got the surgery doesn’t mean the problem was immediately solved. My jaw has been (literally!) screwed back together and my bite has been corrected, but my jaw is just kind of hanging out where it wants while I heal right now. When I try to bring my teeth together I have to do lot of sliding adjustments, like sliding my lower jaw a little to the left or right or back or front, before my teeth click into place. Considering that’s really, really creepy, I can’t wait for rubber bands.

The last most amazing development in all of this: DAIRY! Do you know what ‘clear liquid diet’ means? It means can after can of chicken broth for lunch and dinner, perhaps some apple juice as a chaser. That is what I have been eating for the past six days. Blergh. But as of this coming Saturday morning, I can start adding dairy products to this unvaried diet. That means: protein shakes and ice cream shakes and milk shakes and smoothies and the crown jewel of hospital diets, Ensure! So much Ensure! I can hardly wait.

Orthognathic Surgery: the Before

The day before I went in for the surgery, I actually ate very little. I was too nervous to eat much of anything, and mom finally had to shove food down my throat. I think I had chicken and beans or something like that. I don’t really want to post pre-op pictures, but it doesn’t make much sense if I don’t:

Pre-op, my smile from the front

Pre-op, side angle view of my jaw

I have had braces since the seventh grade, if I remember correctly, and their purpose was to correct a stubborn overbite that only seemed to get bigger and bigger as the years went by, despite extensive therapy. I had a deficient lower jaw, causing a very pronounced tapering of the bottom of my face. From the side, my jaw protruded downwards rather than forwards in a smooth line. Combined with the lip protusion caused by the braces, my profile was not entirely attractive.

However I do want to stress that this is not cosmetic surgery. This is not about self esteem or how I look, this is about how I eat. I have had clicking in my jaw joints for years, my teeth don’t meet correctly and I have to eat pizza with a knife and fork. As a result, I have awful articulation and lots of digestive problems. In addition to the fact that I have a stomach the size of a bird’s, this condition is also partly why I weigh so little. I can’t wait to be able to eat like a normal person when this is all over. I can’t wait to eat an apple without having to reach for the chopping block, or a sandwhich without having to pull everything out of it.

I first started discussing the possibility of Orthognathic surgery about three years ago, when my dentists at NYU Dental Center finally diagnosed me with idiopathic condylar resorption (ICR), a specific condition that affects the jaw joints and is most often prevalent in teenage girls. Ironically enough, it is also known as the “cheerleader syndrome” because it occurs most often in teenage girls engaged in stressful sports activities, like cheerleading. Seeing as I have a reputation for not going near sporting activities of any kind, well, this was altogether a pretty good divinely sanctioned joke.

The surgery that I was scheduled for was a Lefort I Osteotomy and Sagittal Split (and a bunch of other really really long words), which would involve moving and breaking the bones of both my lower and upper jaws. I was also to have my chin redone, but apparently my surgeon was so pleased with the results I ended up not having to do that part.  Currently I am camping out in my parents room, drinking fruit punch through a syringe and trying not to drool -my face is so swollen I can hardly make room for my own tongue. I was feeling pretty low about all this after I woke up and saw myself in a mirror. I actually started crying. My surgeon said that this kind of reaction was typical and that I would feel much better in about 2 weeks, which is the time at which I will get my rubber bands on. In the meantime my nose is full of dried blood, my face is numb and puffy, and I am dizzy as heck.

I spent the first two nights in the hospital, partially blind because no one had my glasses. All I could really do was annoy the nurses for multiple suction sessions, wonder how I was emptying my bladder without getting up (a catheter, I later learned), and try to swallow jello without choking. There was someone in the recovery room across from me who would wave occasionally, but I couldn’t do much but drool back at him. That and I couldn’t see what he looked like, thanks to my missing glasses. I later learned that he had been asking about me the whole time because apparently I would spend hours staring into the distance (a consequence of everything being blurry, actually) and fall asleep every few hours, slumped in my reclining chair. Tisch hospital is actually quite nice, and the nurses were very obliging, no matter how many times I asked for a washcloth for my ridiculously oily face at least now I have no doubts about where my T-zone is.

I will edit this post with a picture tomorrow, right now I feel all drugged up on codeine and very sleepy.

MapleMess

Maplestory is beginning to wear on my nerves.

If I count the duration of time during which I was not able to play (all of my freshman year of college, for instance) I would say that I’ve been on Maple for about two years now. 59 combined levels and hundreds of thousands of arrows later, miriemirie is ready to choke a b*tch.

#1

Killstealers. Let it be known that I will hunt down your puny asses, chop them to bits and use said bits to flavor my stew. During a double experience event about a week or two ago, some arsehole actually asked me to pay him to change channels. PAY him. Defame, report. My screenname may sound a bit sissy and I level like a snail, but doesn’t mean I’ll hesitate to bring retribution down on your undeserving head, jackass.

#2

N00b Abuse

I’m not talking about actual abuse of newbies. My unfailing hope in humanity will never stop anyone from doing that. Abuse of the word itself, however, ought to be punishable by slow, painful death. If I am 20 levels higher than you, and offer to point you in the right direction when you ask me a question, you shall not call me n00b. If I walk by you minding my own business, you shall not call me n00b. And If I happen to be training in an area and I ask you to cc because it’s too crowded, you shall not call me n00b. You are the n00b for not reading the rule book before you started playing, shit for brains.

#3

Useless Guilds

My current guild being the exception, I have been plagued with this problem as of late. I have been in many guilds. If I had a dime for every guild where I was in a constant state of aggravation due to hyperactive 12 year olds who don’t seem to understand the meaning of the word “no”, I’d have a fortune. I didn’t join a guild to join a cult, I joined a guild for community support. I happen to have something called a life which I must tend to on a regular basis. So no I can’t meet up with you at 8 am on a Tuesday morning to kill a boss, no I can’t meet you during late night hours when it’s ‘less crowded’, and yes you can take no for an answer when I have final exams to study for and can’t log in for weeks at a time, you hyperobsessive freaks.

Ahem. I needed to get that off my chest.

Jyongri – Love Forever

I just got Jyongri’s album “Love Forever”. After giving it a spin, I decided to share some of my impressions.

"Love Forever" CD Only Edition

Overall

I was pretty disappointed with this album. Jyongri’s first album was no masterpiece, but it showed that she was very talented and held a lot of potential. Thus, my expectations for her second album were very high. However this album suggests very little growth or maturity in her songwriting since having recorded the first. I just don’t get it…it’s like a step backward. It’s not that this album is horrible; I liked a few of the tracks. It’s just a feeling of general underdevelopment on all of them, especially because the choruses of many of the songs felt pretty lackluster to me even when the rest of the song was perfectly fine. And I must say, there is quite the overdose of ballads. Jyongri has a lot of talent, but she has a long way to go if she’s ever going get the kind of sales she deserves. Out of all the tracks, I like You’re the One, Unchanging Love and Lullaby For You (in that order) the best.

Track by Track Review

1. Love Forever

Ummm….I was a little taken aback by this intro. The vocals are very nice but the lyrics seemed a little out of place with the tune.

***

2. Tender Touch

The transition between Love Forever and this song is good, I almost didn’t notice this song start. The problem with this song is that I couldn’t wait for it to end. It was boring as heck. Perhaps it would mean more to me if I understand the lyrics but, I think even then I would have had a lot of trouble keeping my hand off the ‘next’ button.

***

3. Kissing Me

This song has a lot more momentum than the first, and I love the opening chords. The chorus, however, is disappointing. The verses and the climb leading up to the chorus are possibly the best parts of the song; they feature her characteristic harmonies and are actually very sweet. But then the chorus starts and I’m just like, ehhhhhhh. They had me expecting a lot more than Jyongri actually ended up delivering. Disappointing, especially since it was a single.

***

4. Unchanging Love ～君がいれば～ (with Whisper)

Possibly my favorite song on this album behind “You’re the One”. It’s a ballad, that’s certain, but it lacks all the draggy uninteresting quality of “Tender Touch”. I’m not fond of the chorus of this song either. I find the way she hits the notes on the words “Unchanging Love” kind of weird. (Maybe I’m just weird myself O_o) But the build up to the chorus, when she sings:

でもね　一言で　少し勇気が湧く
ありのままでいいんだね　I wanna hold on

That part, as well as its counterpart in the second verse, are both lovely.

****

5. Catch Me

Holy Moley. This song is just downright annoying. I have no idea what she was trying to do with it, and the chorus is just, irritating. She’s practically wailing in it. Then it just ends out of nowhere. At least it seems to, which is unusual, seeing as its a whole 3 minutes and 57 seconds long. I think I was too busy cringing to notice the time passing.

**

6. Lullaby For You

On first listen, this song served its purpose – it put me straight to sleep. A second listen, however, has raised my initial opinion. It’s a actually a very beautiful ballad, and catchy if you listen to it often enough. I love the short piano solo after the first chorus.

****

7. 私の太陽 (Watashi No Taiyou)

What is with that string sounding thing at the beginning? And the electric guitar throughout? The whole thing reminds me of a Celine Dion song from the 90’s. Not that I don’t like Celine Dion, but it happens to be 2008 now and not even Celine uses those old tricks anymore. And then the electric guitar in the chorus – so out of place. I do not like at all.

**

8. 泣いてもいいよ (Naitemo Ii Yo)

This song combines more of that annoying 90’s thing with another boring ballad.

***

9. You’re the One

I love the way Jyongri sings “You are the ooooone” in the background, it’s adorable! The song is upbeat and catchy, much more on the pop side than all the throwback ballad tracks that precede it. Once again, however, I think a lackluster chorus ruins what is otherwise very well done. Why does nothing else she’s done have a chorus as good as Possession? That song has, so far, proved a tough act to follow even for herself.

****

10. Lovers DRIVE

“Come on take the lover’s drive with me?” Jyongri, did you really run out of serviceable lyrics that fast? As if that strange beginning wasn’t enough, the rest of the song itself is a cheese-fest. For some songs this kitchen-sink cute approach works, but here it’s just downright annoying. What the hell is a ‘lover’s drive’ anyway?

**

11. The Chills

That whole weird repeaty, monotone verse is irritating. The beat is okay, but the song itself is not at all memorable. Shouldn’t a song about “the chills” give me chills?

**

12. Still in Love

A quiet piano ballad. It’s actually quite pretty, but I feel that as a listener, by the time you’ve gotten here you’re just tired. There is very little momentum on the CD leading to this point, and normally it takes a few good upbeat songs to help me get ready for a quiet transition to the end. Here, I find myself ill-prepared.

***

13. STARS

Okay, by this song I’ve pretty much given up. A mid-tempo ballad that can’t quite get me to care. And the whole “in the sky” repeated in the background later in the song is annoying.

**

You can learn more about Jyongri using her article on Wiki.theppn.

Civ IV Revisited

Civilization IV is brilliant.

Today I played as Catherine the Great of Russia. Currently I’m leading due to my overwhelming cultural superiority, but I don’t stand a chance of a diplomatic victory due to China’s, well, numbers. How they hell did they get so big? I got squashed onto one tiny little continent with Japan and Spain, then I find out that China’s been all by its lonesome on this huge continent the whole time while Spain and I catfight over a frackin forest.

Anyway.

I haven’t played in a while, but I saw the commercial on television today for Civilization: Revolution and I was like whaaaaaaaa? Is that what I think it is? But it is not what I thought it was, because it is only for game consoles. As in, not for PC. I think I died a little inside.
One of my favorite Civ IV features has to be the ability to nuke people*. (The Civ Fanatics forum has an awesome gallery with lots of screenshots and animations of big in-game kabooms). I haven’t reached that milestone yet playing as Russia, but I have achieved it several times playing as England. And let me tell you, the military advantage it gives you is enormous. In other words, it turns you into a raving maniac. I have dropped nukes twice? Three times? Once because I was in an unending war with the Americans (oh the irony) and they were on the verge of capturing my capital city, another time to end a three way war that was causing me to hemorrhage money, and a third time because I was bored. Yes. I was bored. I had nothing else left to build except future tech and I figured Rome could use a makeover.

Be very, very careful with this game, people. Anything that can turn a ridiculously scary technology into addictive game play is to be feared.

Anyhow, thank you Civ IV, for keeping my afternoons lazy and my future career in politics bright.

*Please be advised that nuking people too often can plunge the world into either a global war (or global warming) and cause all the other civs to hate you, thus making diplomatic victory impossible. Now if only George Bush everyone else realized this, the world would be a better place.

They Kiss Again

It Started With a Kiss was admittedly the first Taiwanese drama I actually liked after struggling with the likes of Smiling Pasta, Hana Kimi, and Meteor Garden. Smiling Pasta nearly drowned me in its marinara sauce of sappy-happy overkill nonsense. While I have a soft spot for S.H.E., I had a hard time getting used to Ella in the Taiwanese adaptation of Hana Kimi. And not to upset its legion of fangirls but seriously, what was up with Meteor Garden?

I downloaded ISWAK by accident ( I don’t remember what exactly I looking for), but I ended up loving it. I have never read the Japanese manga that it is based on (Itazura na Kiss) nor have I watched the subsequent anime and live action adaptation, so when I watched ISWAK the storyline was entirely new to me. When the series ended I was honestly upset. I was glad to hear that a sequel was in the works, and last week I downloaded and began to watch They Kiss Again or, It Started With a Kiss 2.

Let me just say this: sequels usually suck. Meteor Garden 2 was even less interesting than the original (if that’s at all possible). They Kiss Again honestly surprised me as it had lost none of its momentum from the first season. The first episode is very funny, and the relationship between Ariel Lin and Joe Cheng’s characters has lost none of its charm or its hilarity. I give it a two thumbs up, and I can’t wait until the subs for Episode 10 come out. This project is currently being released by the Intangible Fansubs group, and is also posted on D-addicts. Last I checked, Episode 10 is just about ready for release, so keep your fingers crossed!

Snapshot from Episode 1 of They Kiss Again

A new beginning?

Talk about beginnings.

I’ve livejournaled, myspaced, facebooked, and been on just about every other social networking website known to man. It’s a wonder I’ve still retained my dignity; after all I’ve been exposing most anything and everything to the scrutiny of strangers since the tender age of 13. I obviously have not learned my lesson, since I’ve got a blog and am back for more.

This “blog” phenomenon has largely been lost on me until now. Myspace is not a blog. It’s more of a public bulletin board, except more obscene – last I checked no one decks out public bulletin boards with annoying looped song clips and pictures of their boobs blown up to 100x their actual size. At least, no one in my neighborhood does that. Not that I participated very much in that community – my presence on Myspace lasted about a week. Facebook has known me for longer, but only when I don’t feel lazy. But Livejournal? That was complete mindrape. No one writes better angst than a 13 year old. Trust me, I was one.

I do not aim to emulate any of those experiences with this blog. This will be an exercise to keep my fingers busy during the coming grueling weeks during which I undergo and recover from maxillofacial surgery on a grand scale. Oh alright, drama excuse. This is purely about me and my interests. Or keeping my interests interesting. Whatever. It’s fun.